Lets face it!

Facebook is scary! You try to stay true to yourself throughout all the quizzes and they turn you into a freak. According to Facebook and their friends equipped with applications I will get married in 4 years and just shy of a month now. So look out for wedding invitations in the year 2012. I will also be having 2 boys and 1 girl, so who knows if you will get invitations to their baptism at the same time, because no one warned me when they were likely to show up. Just a moment ago I was trying to take the quiz ‘How much of a Drama Queen Are you’ and it turned out I am a tragedy as it didn’t work. But Facebook isn’t all bad. Thanks to Flixter I am now capable of picking the right friends to ask to go to the cinema with me. Because they match you with your friends who have similar taste in movies, you don’t have to think with whom you want to sit next to for the two hours because they have done the work for you. Handy! I can finally be poked without feeling it, a friend of mine used to like poking me but I didn’t. It made me turn black and blue; I am a sissy and bruise easily. Thank God or multiple Gods on Facebook I can start Mob wars on people without the side effect of turning up dead or worse very badly injured. I can join a lot of causes without having to do a single thing, which makes it easy to take a stand on issues that are close to your heart! I can add all sorts of applications that make it easy for me to know where I have been in the world, in case I get lost it makes it easy to find me as I haven’t been to that many places yet.

Because of Facebook I now know who I really am: 17 years old British landed gentry whose life is 77% perfect whose birthday is apparently May 24th, with brown eyes, only 62% normal and who will fall for a gentleman. I can learn to understand who I am on the inside: I am the ultimate nerd, ambitious and yummy, with 49 on Dr. Phil’s personality test (although I have no idea what that means ... the average intelligence I am equipped with is kicking in), I am a bit of a devil and not much of a drunk. But as a Greek Goddess I kick ass! For future hopefuls I have a purple passion, which goes hand in hand with the purple latex gloves I already possess. But just as a precaution I apparently also have a purple heart, so if anything happens in the heat of the moment you know what to inform the doctor of. I also understand from all of this that I have a split personality: I am Jack Sparrow and Piglet and Bart Simpson and Fred/George Weasly (makes sense as I am a Gemini) and Mulan and Zeus and Hera (explains all the family squabbles). Apparently my life is like Pirates of the Caribbean with the Disney theme song being ‘Someday my prince will come’. Although I am incredibly happy that it didn’t turn out to be ‘Chim Chim Cher-ee’, can't say I forsee me having a future that has me crawling up small, dark and dank chimneys ... claustrophobic you know. On top of that pigeons are know to hang around rooftops.

What’s missing from the description of me is not imperative to this blog because I know that I am probably capable of finding out how tall I am (in case I didn’t know), when I will die and how that will come about. It will probably also tell me what I will have for breakfast, lunch and dinner but something you just want to discover on your own.

I also get to know a thing or two about my friends, mostly that they are heavy drinkers! They keep sending me shots, booze, beer, basically any alcohol that they can get their hands on. My friends also like to send me pictures of cute cuddly things, especially pets, which is nice, as I don’t have to come too near them. The downside of this is that my friends send me pictures of food as well. I would much more like to get the food than the photo though!

But we really shouldn’t vilify Facebook, thanks to them, my life is completely mapped out and planned, I know what to aim for and what to avoid so I can just sit back and enjoy the ride (while dodging Vampire and Slayer and Were-wolfs on the way).

Don't expect Shakespear!

There once was a viking

who had a good liking,

to plunder and pillage

any Irish village,

his name was Sven

and like all his men,

he was burly and blond

but was unceremoniously pushed into a pond..

When Sven nearly drowned

he got angry and frowned,

but the lady stood there gloating

where he was a-floating,

he had a fish in his hair

which he flung with a flair,

straight at her face

so she quickened her pace.

After her he went

and he didn't relent,

until he caught er to his chest

that's what a viking does best!

he flung her over his shoulder

with the intent to hold her

he carried her away

all the way to Norway.

She ended up in his ship

where she gave him a split lip,

he tried to kiss her

but she made sure he missed her,

when his lips aproached her chin

she kicked him in the shin,

so now Sven was limping

and his ardor was rapidly sinking.

She thought her father would miss her

not to mention her sister,

but indeed he didn't mind

that he could ner not find,

he had tried to marry her off

but she said no to all the toffs,

her mind was quick, but her fist was quicker

and that in the end made men not particularly like her.

Now Sven is stuck with the shrew

and this part of the tale is true,

in the end she succumbed

and in a few words it can be summed

of an amarous viking

it is easy to develop a liking,

now finally she rests her fists

as she is busy being amorously kissed!